written in the early morning while the sun is rising in my backyard.
I recognize that I'm an anomaly. The year proceeding my divorce, I made multiple six figures (and in fact still had the time of my life that year). I built a multitude of systems that worked as perfectly harmonious cogs in a well oiled machine even though I was picking up the pieces of my personal life. In fact, it was the year I travelled the most, and started pursuing every dream I had put on hold during my marriage.
Most women who get divorced typically find themselves in what I can only describe as a rather desperate financial situation. I have seldom met single mothers that were thriving financially or heard of stories where they were able to build up a strong foundation for them to continue to live their lives on.
Ultimately, my purpose is driven with the desire to keep helping women gain financial independence. Not through hustle culture, not through pushing them to do something that wouldn't feel genuine to themselves, & to show them that there are different ways to succeed and become financially stable in this life than working yourself to death and stepping away from what really matters to them.
But I worry that in light of trying to be aspirational/inspirational so many finance writers/creators (myself included) through over-sharing our finances we could be driving a feeling of inadequacy and drive further the feeling of helplessness, that how can someone hope to reach that ever elusive goal of financial stability and independence?
The culture of social comparison is probably one of the few things that has continued to prevail throughout the entirety of human existence. The very human habit of looking at others and consciously/subconsciously deriving information no how one should feel, act, think, and behave is probably part of the reason why we have continued to survive. And yet, our society has never had higher levels of depression and loneliness. Everywhere you look it seems like everybody is making more money than you can dream of while you’re still struggling to just pay your basic necessities to live.
And even though you know that everybody is posting their highlight reel on social media, we still get sucked into the comparison game. Which only continues to make us anxious and progressively unhappy. And this is where training your brain comes in, you need to cognitively stop and break negative thought patterns. Notice the small wins, because they matter and recognize that you’re on your own journey and timeline, whether it comes to finances or not.
And although I’m not sure if me over-sharing my finances has more of a positive than negative effect. I do know that my readers/subscribers/followers who have reached out tell me it has only inspired them to see the world a little differently, with all the possibilities that maybe they missed before. Because maybe part of all the oversharing is so that others can see an image of themselves doing something they once thought was impossible, so that they themselves could find the courage to take the first step towards a different life, whether it’s deciding to start a business or to save their first $1,000 towards retirement. Whatever that dream life looks like for them.
I’m curious, does seeing others overshare their finances encourage and inspire you? Or does it drive you in into a negative spiral of social comparison and eventual depression?
This newsletter is written while working a 9-5, running businesses, building new ones, and most importantly, while still actually living life. Currently it’s free, so if you want to support my work, a hot cup of coffee, goes a long way.
Find me on Instagram/TikTok @_stephaniehuynh_ for the behind the scenes of everything I write about here.