I Survived Two Divorces and $60K of Debt. Here's What Actually Rebuilt My Finances

Set a budget. Allocate every dollar. Spend less than you make. We all hear about the things we need to do in order to fix our finances. But what if that isn’t the whole picture?

An evening sitting and writing from my couch in Las Vegas.

Set the scene. My then husband convinces me the best thing for us is to move to Las Vegas, we sold the home I DIY’d and remodeled (heartbreaking) and I was moved away from all my friends and family in Los Angeles. The only place I’ve ever called home.

The money we made from selling our LA home? Gone. Lent out to a company he had one percent ownership of as a loan that was to be repaid within three months that wouldn’t be for essentially two years, well after we our divorce finalized.

And since I had the better credit, conveniently all of our debts had been accumulating under my name, on my cards. A foolish mistake as a naive girl who was in love and listened to the financial direction of my not so financially literate ex-husband as opposed to what my gut was telling me.

Debts contributed partly that as a co-founder of a startup his seed money was already quickly running out which lead to him not taking a paycheck for a majority of the last year of our marriage.

I worked multiple jobs and even sold plasma to keep up with our bills, and pay for improvements to our “new” home in Las Vegas which was more so lipstick slapped on a pig. As soon as the house was conveniently remodeled and DIY’d by me to a point where it was essentially finished. He filed for divorce.

I tell the outline of the story (this only grazes the surface) because I want you to see that this was all a series of decisions and non-decisions that I did or did not make that lead me to this point. Was I given an unfortunate series of circumstances? Yes. But if we’re looking for the only common denominator outside of both my ex-husbands, it was myself.

The hardest part of taking a hard look at your life is that often times you are the only common denominator. And the moment I took radical responsibility, was the moment when everything changed.

What is radical responsibility? The definition varies, but for me it is taking 100% responsibility for yourself and the thoughts, choices you make and the results that occur as a outcome of such.

I’ll never forget the words of a manager of mine at the time when I told her the news of my impending divorce, “Make sure you take care of yourself, I know women who got divorced and never recovered.” Whether she was speaking financially, emotionally, or both. I can’t be sure. But did you know that separated or divorced women face poverty rates around 27%, which is nearly three times higher than divorced men? That women's household incomes fall by an average of 41% after a divorce (compared to a 23% drop for men)?

I refused to become a statistic.

I worked harder than I ever had making enough to pay off the $60K in debt and buy myself a home within a matter of months. To date, the year after my divorce is still my highest grossing year. My work was challenging, but I worked even harder on my mindset. Intensive therapy sessions, a lot of time with those who genuinely loved and cared for me. I went traveling, exploring and discovering who I was again before getting lost in the shadow of my relationships and the desire to be loved. Before I decided to dim myself down to become “palatable”. Call it my “Eat, Pray, Love” year. Elizabeth Gilbert and Julia Roberts would be proud.

I made the decision to be essentially the very best version of myself and changed the way I saw and approached the world and the situations it presented me. Training my brain to reframe any circumstance. Because radical responsibility isn’t saying that things outside your control don’t matter, but that even if you can’t control everything, you can see the opportunities that others may not because their vision may be “clouded”.

You build alternative sources of income outside your day job by noticing the things maybe other people can’t yet. When I bought my run-down 1980’s home, no one saw my vision. But the moment I walked in, I knew it could be something much more. And even if I didn’t know how or what, I ran with that feeling and now my home makes me six-figures all while I live here full-time. It pays for my life, which allows me the freedom and flexibility to have a minimally stressful job and be able to pursue making and creating other income streams and passion projects.

So if you’re feeling like you need the perfect situation before you start expanding, before you start building your income streams. I would actually say, don’t. Because the perfect situation may exist but it may never arrive. And if you’re being honest with yourself, like I had to be with myself. If you’re not happy with how much money you have, or where you are in life. You are the common denominator.

And once you recognize that and take radical responsibility for your life. That is when everything changes, including your finances.

I didn't find my way out by waiting for the right moment. I found it by making the next right decision.

And if you don’t know where to start, I created The Day Job Wealth Starter Kit with actionable steps to help you create additional income streams, to start building a life that you actually choose.

If this resonated, drop a comment below — is there an income stream you’ve been thinking of starting but for some reason you haven’t?

This newsletter is written while working a 9-5, running businesses, building new ones, and most importantly, while still actually living life. Currently it’s free, so if you want to support my work, a hot cup of coffee, goes a long way.

Find me on Instagram/TikTok @_stephaniehuynh_ for the behind the scenes of everything I write about here.